Saturday, February 23, 2008


I gorged myself on mental junk food today. It wasn't all that tasty and it certainly had no nutritional value. I kind of hate myself after indulging and want to go read something hearty to make up for it. Do you ever do this? Toss the junk food metaphor aside and examine your own reading habits. I was hoping that "Beastly" by Alex Finn would be a wonderful re-creation of the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale, but nope. Mediocre at best. Did I stop reading? Did I put it down and move on to more worthy fodder? Nope. I have the same problem with Cheetos. I literally cannot stop eating them. My fingers will be stained orange, my tongue raw and my jaw sore from chomping and yet I keep shoving the little orange buggers in. Where is my self-control? Where is my will-power?
Just put the crappy book down, Jenny. Just set it down and walk away.
But I'm boooored. I have nothing to dooooo.
Not true! You have an office that needs reorganizing! You have a basement full of junk to clean out!
I don't want to do that stuff. I want to do something fun.
I don't have anything fun for you to do today. Go be productive.
Aaah, man!

Sorry you had to witness that. My inner child was acting up and when I have a perfectly lovely day with no demands on my time, sometimes it takes over and I read "Beastly" books and let my children play in the backyard all day without my supervision. They were probably digging holes to China and I'll fall into my pockmarked yard in the spring when I finally venture out to do some yard work. All for a book that was contrived and completely forgettable.

I'm going on a book diet tomorrow. Or Monday. Only Newberry or Pulitzer winners. Fifteen minutes of memorizing new vocabulary first thing in the morning. Join a Great Books club. Yup. On Monday. Or a week from Monday, if the new John Grisham comes up on my holds list.


  1. hahahahaha! Jenny! You are so funny. We all sound that way, maybe not necessarily on reading, but we all have ways to waste our time, calories, or money. . .
    I fight every day with myself to go downstairs and get on that treadmill. . . (just this room, I will clean this room then I will go down. . .Just start a batch of wash, then. . .ooo bejeweled on my palm pilot. . . just check my email. . .) guess what? I didn't win either, but the house sure looks great. . .and my sis just told me she has lost 10 pounds in the last two months. . . where was I during her exercise? not on the treadmill. grrrrrrrrrr

  2. You are so funny!! I love cheetos too. Mouth raw, fingers stained, chomping away. Yup.... and have I ever read all of Hamlet? Not so much... Oh, well. I have watched 'Much Ado About Nothing' and 'Midsummer's Night Dream'. But watching and reading are so different. And I guess I am just too lazy. Funny, funny girl. :)

  3. I realized one day after reading a third of the way through a horrible book that I DIDN'T HAVE TO FINISH IT!!! It was the first time in my life that I thought, "Rachel, put that horrible book down and find something better to read." And, after three tries, I did it! That's the glorious thing about the library. It's free, and there's no promise you have to make to finish the book and write a report before you return the book. So, be strong, Jenny! Let's be strong together! There are good books out there! (Actually, you don't need me telling you that there are good books out there. That's the whole point of your blog.) I will not pick up Beastly because of the pretty cover. Thanks for the heads up.

  4. I have the same problem. There's only been a handful of books that I've put down because they were THAT bad. Most have been, to revert to the metephor, Western Family brand Cheetos. A recent read was bad in a different sort of way. You literally couldn't complete a paragraph without the worst of the worst language being used. My hopes that things would clean up lasted only a few pages before I had to put it down.

  5. Maybe we should form a support group. That way we stay on the good book wagon.
    Rachel, I too feel like I have to finish books I've started. Like cleaning your plate. Ugh. Only when a book is so glaringly bad or awful can I put it down easily. I checked out "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" because it was supposed to be absolutely a work of art. I couldn't get past the 14 f-words on the first page. Yikes.

    Unified Readers for Good Books? Indulgent Bad Bookaholics?
    People for the Strength of Good Reading?
    Something with a snappy acronym would be nice.

  6. As usual, I'm laughing as I read your prose. Jenny, you are one funny girl. I know people would PAY to read your stuff but I'm glad I get to do it for free. Personally my favorite thing about being a "grown-up" is that I get to indulge in junk food and not have to always read the good stuff. I am doing better though!

  7. Let's think of a name with the acronym READ. Give some kind of silly prize to whoever gets the best version. How about Readers of Educational and Applicable Dialogue? Reviewers of Entertaining and Appetizing Drivel? I'll keep thinking but I will definitely not read Beastly. And yes, putting a book aside unfinished is very liberating, as is turning off a tv program or movie without finishing it if it is "yucky".